What About Slander and Gossip In The Church?

Dr. Couch, our church recently went through a split. Slander and gossip destroyed the peace and contentment. A lot of people got hurt and left. I understand this is going on all over. I just found Proverbs 26:19-22. Do these verses apply to what is going on today?

 

   Absolutely! Here are some excellent thoughts about these verses from the Proverbs commentary volumes of Dr. Bruce Waltke. He not only exegetes the verses, and their meaning, but puts the right interpretation on what the passages are all about. Christians can be terribly destructive and go about without guilt destroying other people and institutions. Waltke writes:

   "The slanderer is a contentious person. He uses inflammatory speech that will burn down the community of believers. His words are so destructive, and he is so cunning, the church body will swallow his inflammatory calumnies like testy tidbits. The group that tolerates the gossip is also culpable for the conflicts that tear it apart.

    "By attacking others, or authority, the gossip secures his own will. He is labeled perverse, the one who turns a community upside down. His tools of trade are half-truths, facts distorted and exaggerated beyond recognition. As a storm whips up the sea, the slandering rebel whips up strife so strong that it divides even the closest friends. A contentious person must be driven from the community.

    "The gossip’s yeast will work through the whole batch of dough. His audience greedily swallow his inflammatory speech, they delight in his words. The words now in their hearts will inevitably be on their lips. The community will ultimately lose its own peace and character by tolerating agitators against all that is right."

   Waltke is right on target in his thoughts coming from these verses. This destruction is happening in church after church across America!

Thanks for asking.

Dr. Mal Couch

What Is Gossip?

Dr. Couch, what is the difference between gossip and simply sharing information? I am confused on this question. 

 

    The Greek word for gossip is psithyrismos. As a noun it is used in Rom. 1:29; 1 Tim. 3:11, 5:13; 2 Tim. 3:3 and Titus 2:3. As a verb it is used only once in 2 Cor. 12:20. There are two other related words: slander (katalaleo) which is also found in 2 Cor. 12:20. It means “to speak against.” Then there is the name of Satan (diabolos) that is also often translated slander(er). Technically, it means “to throw against” as in attacking another person’s character with gossip. 

    All of these words carry the idea of telling tales in order to harm or destroy. While it is not part of the word, to be telling lies about someone would be embedded in the definition. 

    To want information, or to share information, may be legitimate in that one wishes to help, pray for, or support someone or some issue. Yet this too certainly needs to be handled carefully. We have all seen on a Wednesday night someone getting up to share about someone’s problems “so we can all pray more intelligently!” Conversation about others certainly has to be handled carefully. Our flesh often wants to hear in order to just hear! To want to share in someone’s problems somehow elevates us and gives power. “We know something that someone else does not know!” 

    I could go to dozens of verses that prohibit gossip and slander. There are too many to list here. 

    Leadership (elders) may need to have information in order to correct, chide, or even encourage. But that information should be kept confidential. The congregation needs to know that such information will be handled with wisdom and not spread all over the church. The apostle James warns us, and reminds us, that the tongue is set on fire from hell. It destroys people, and it starts wars. 

    The book of Proverbs says: “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends” (17:9). See also 18:8; 11:13. Note as well 25:9: “Do not reveal the secret of another, lest he who hears it reproach you.” 

    There are people who are destructive to Christian churches and schools with their evil and with their lying mouths. Sometimes their evil works have to be exposed in order to clear up the record and restore the integrity of another. This is not gossip but bringing about justice!

    But finally, all “talk” must be handled carefully to make sure that the carnality of even believers is not running a-muck. 

    Thanks for asking.

    Dr. Mal Couch